“If you attempt to find Chi Alpha after college, you won’t.”
When I heard this in a leader’s meeting as a student, it was a hard pill to swallow. It seemed pessimistic to think that I could never be part of a community that served me as well as Chi Alpha did. As I neared graduation, I realized that wasn’t the point. I’d probably never find myself in another faith community where everyone lives within a mile of each other. Or one where everyone is in the exact same life stage. Or one that makes it so easy for every part of my life to be intertwined with others. The point isn’t to replicate what you’ve experienced for the past three or four years. It’s to bring what you’ve come to value into all the areas of your adult life. That life begins this summer, so here’s how you can begin to do that now.
When you start to transition to a local church as your primary community, you may find yourself dissatisfied by how the church experience measures up to your experience in Chi Alpha. Rather than writing the local church off for being incomparable, try investing more. Be as vulnerable in your small group as you wish everyone would be. Model the kind of discipleship you’ve given and received. Actively pursue friendships with your peers and mentorship from older adults. Of course, you’re not there to make the church in your own image, but you’ll only ever get out what you put in.
Intentionality in relationships takes on a whole new level after college. You might be thinking about all the people you’ve spent time with while in school and wonder if and when you’ll ever see any of them again. But honestly, if you want to, you will. Believe it or not, relationships in college don’t take much intentionality. You develop friendships often without even thinking about it. You’re just around each other all the time. However, in post-grad life, relationships require quite a bit of work. So start now. Ask them how they’re doing and how you can pray for them. Schedule time into your week to catch up with them. Reach out to that one friend you kinda know, but never got a chance to get close to. It’s never too early (or too late) to start maintaining your adult friendships.
Lastly, and most importantly, give yourself some grace. Graduating can feel like the closing of one chapter and the beginning of a new fresh white page. You might expect this summer to be the launching point of a clear path that leads through the rest of your life. And while that is partly true, sometimes this leads us to believe that the uncertainties we carried with us in college will be gone. Perhaps, instead, this time is an in-between space that gives you the room to learn more, fail more, dream more, and grow more.